Taking the Good with the Bad

"And I will do whatever you ask in my Name, so that the Son may bring glory to the Father.  You my ask me for anything in my Name, and I will do it!" - John 14:13-14

Hallelujah! Praise Jesus! The genetic testing came back negative!!!!  But wait....What does that mean?  Once Charlie and I were told that I had cancer, we immediately got to meet an array of doctors who would help us through this upcoming process.  One of the people that we met was a genetic counselor.  It's her job to find out if my body has developed a few specific types of genetic mutations and she informed us that because of my age it was very possible that I would be a strong candidate to posses the BRCA1, BRCA2, or some other genetic mutation known as Leaf-fro-meanie (That's not how it's spelled, but that's what it sounds like.)
If I were to have tested positive for any of the BRCA1 or BRCA2 genetic mutations, which makes up about 15% of breast cancers, my chances for developing breast cancer again in my second breast was extremely high as well as developing cancer in my ovaries at a later date.  If I had tested positive for one of these genetic mutations, we had decided to have a double-mastectomy to help reduce any future cancer re-occurrences.  At a later date, we would more than likely have my ovaries surgically removed as my chances for ovarian cancer would have increased drastically if we tested positive for BRCA1 or BRCA2.  As the oldest of four girls in my family, all of my sisters would have needed to be tested for the genetic mutations, and statistics show that each of them would have had a 50% chance of all carrying the mutation.  I could have also passed this gene to any children Charlie or I may have in the future, and they would be at a high risk for developing cancer as well.

If I had tested positive for the Leaf-fro-meanie genetic mutation, or sometimes known as Li-Fraumeni syndrome (only makes up about .15% of breast cancer), I would have been highly susceptible to developing several different types of cancer in my near future.  This included breast cancer again, bone cancer, cancer in soft tissues, brain tumors, etc.   So we are super happy I did not test positive for the meanie gene. :)  I believe prayers had a major role in determining the outcome of these tests, so thank you to everyone who lifted us up specifically for these tests to come back negative.

Thus far, I felt like I had been trusting God with all of this, but when it came down to it, I doubt I really was.  Praying for God to fully/miraculously heal me didn't seem like that was His plan, so I never really asked for it.  These next couple of months were going to be rough, but for the most part, this whole cancer thing seemed pretty easy to me.  We had caught the cancer early, I was going to have a lumpectomy, miss a week of work, have my eggs harvested, start chemo, and then finish with radiation.  Rough year, but we caught the cancer early; I'm young and healthy, and the cancer hadn't spread anywhere else.  
Tuesday, November 18 I was scheduled to have an MRI and the next day Charlie and I were to meet a second oncologist to get another opinion. It felt as if we were told we had cancer all over again when we sat down to meet with the doctor that morning.  Not only did the new oncologist reveal that my tumor was actually over 5 cm wide based in the MRI results (originally thought to be only 1.6 cm wide) he also told us that he was fairly certain the cancer had spread to my lymph nodes.  Originally diagnosed with Stage 1 cancer and then suddenly a strong candidate for stage 3, one begins to distrust the system that has been leading you through this process.  This new information changed a few things for us.  

Due to the size of the tumor, the surgeon no longer felt she could save my left breast.  A mastectomy was our only option now and due to the size of the tumor, the surgeon was worried that the cancer may have spread to my chest wall as well.  For the first time (Lord's provision here) I was actually scared.  Scared that we may not beat this and that the cancer was going to spread too fast for the chemo to kill all of it.  Luckily this lasted only a minute, and I'm reminded of His goodness and the love of everyone who surrounds me!  Seriously though, I had no idea Charlie and I could feel so loved.  It's still beyond words.  I've tried numerous times to express our gratitude, and I feel as if we have only been able to express a tiny fraction of the gratefulness we are feeling towards a multitude of friends and family members who have gone out of their way to make sure we know we are loved.  

So this is our schedule as of today...it changes all the time so bear with me....

• Monday, November 24 - Surgery Day!
• Healing for 2-6 weeks
• December 3 - Begin egg harvesting in Chicago
• Late December - Early January - Begin 5-6 months of chemo
• Radiation to follow after chemo - every day for six weeks. 

 I mean when you practically live in the hospital these days...why not take a selfie...

...or two.

What you can do: 

• Pray specifically for a full recovery.  No more cancer for the rest of my life after this.
• Continued prayers for Charlie and I, along with my family.  That we stay positive and upbeat; it will be a long year. 
• If cooking is your thing and you want to send a meal, Lord knows he did not bless me with this gift, you may sign up here for meals or contact Paula Buxton: http://www.takethemameal.com/meals.php?t=YKKF8549&welcome=1  

Thanks for reading and all of your support. :)

Cancer at 27….Wait, What?

Trust me in your times of trouble, and I will rescue you, and you will give me glory. 

-Psalm 50:15

Around two months ago, Charlie and I found each other sitting in the ER due to severe chest pains that nearly caused me to blackout while driving home from Bible study.  As soon as we arrived, I was upset that I had let myself succumb to the pain and found myself apologizing profusely to Charlie that we had ended up in the ER.  Before ending up in the ER, I had been having chest pains for the previous two weeks that I had been ignoring for the most part.  

After the ER, a few weeks passed, the pain went away, and everything seemed fine.  Abbey and Caynan got married on October 11, we celebrated their amazing wedding, and on Sunday…we rested.  Charlie and I were watching Sunday night football as a breast cancer awareness commercial came on the t.v.  I jokingly looked at him and mentioned that I should make sure that I didn't have breast cancer and performed a lame attempt of a self-breast exam on myself…..and I found a lump. 

If I did not have a follow-up exam with my doctor that next day from my ER visit, I would have ignored the lump.  Put it off in the back of my mind and continued with my life as I had been.  I even contemplated not telling the doctor about the lump the next day, but I made Charlie a promise I would at least just mention it.  The doctor found the lump as well, but she wasn't worried.  The percentage of someone my age getting breast cancer, with no prior family history, was less than 5%.  But, she scheduled an ultrasound just in case.  

I debated canceling the ultrasound, multiple times.  Personally, I hate the doctors office and I hadn't been since I was maybe 16 years old and I preferred to keep it that way.  Plus, I hate hospital bills and I felt like this was a waste of my time.  But I went.  The ultrasound looked, "odd" and the nurse concluded that there was indeed a lump there.  All I could think was, "No kidding, it feels like there is a small ball in there.  I could have told you that and I probably just spent a couple thousand dollars for you to tell me that very same thing." 

So they scheduled a mammogram and another ultrasound.  I actually quite enjoyed my stay at the Mills Breast Cancer Institute that day.  I jokingly referred to it as a day at the spa…HGTV, free chocolate, heated blankets, I was a happy little girl.  The doctors told me before I left that they were going to schedule a biopsy just to be safe, but that they weren't worried about anything.  It was highly unlikely that it would turn out to be cancer.  

Biopsy came.  It hurt.  Don't let anyone else tell you otherwise. And then we waited for the test results. I 100% fully expected to find out in a few days that the lump was no big deal, that this was a waste of time, and I could go back to my normal life.  

When the doctor told Charlie and I that I the lump was cancer, two thoughts went through my mind immediately.  First, "You must have the wrong test results".  Second, "Thank you, Jesus, for sending me Charlie."   The first day was a fog.  A lot to process, we called family members  and close friends to update them, and I went back to work.  Doctor appointments were lined up the next day and Charlie and I put our game faces on.  My mom came up to Champaign to attend the appointments with us, and I was extremely grateful for their presence.  

Over the course of the next week or so, we have been overwhelmed by the support of so many friends and family members in the form of prayers, emails, texts, phone calls, flowers, cards, and acts of kindness.  Humbling is all we can describe it as.   

During those nights, I began to have some deep conversations with God.  I have not once been angry, nor have I yet asked the "why me?" question.  I mean "why not, me?".   All I could say was, "Okay God, I'm giving this to you.  I'm going to trust you.  You're going to get us through this.  If this is something you want me to carry, I will do this if it will bring You glory."  

This is what we know right now.  I have breast cancer, invasive ductal carcinoma.  Size: 1.6x1.4x1.6 cm, stage 1, grade 3 (the most aggressive type).  The cancer is hormone positive, which is good as it will allow more treatment options.  Surgery is scheduled to happen at the end of November, chemo to follow (likely starting in January), and then radiation.  We are waiting on the genetic testing to come back to see if I test positive for the BRCA1 or BRCA2 gene mutations.  If it comes back positive and that I do have one of the two mutations, we will change our course of action.  

Finding out you have cancer is never easy, but knowing that you're surrounded by so many friends and family members who have been willing to pray over this situation, give up their time to help support us, and send an overwhelming amount of kind words makes it all a whole lot easier.  The journey is just beginning, but we know we will make it through.  We are so grateful for everyone God has placed in our lives, words cannot express our gratitude thus far.  So we just say, thank you.  We will beat this.  We have received so many prayers, I know God is in this.  He is here in this situation. 

What you can do: 

So many people have asked if they can do anything for us, and our answer right now is, Yes.  Please specifically pray that my genetic testing comes back negative and for energizing rest.  Pray for our marriage that this does not define who Charlie and I become over the next year, and pray for my family, as this has probably caused more worry for them than myself.  We will keep you updated along the way, and we thank you so much for reading this.  

Stay positive and enjoy what you have been given.  Each day is a gift and no one fights alone.   

"Leaning" - Photo taken by Karen Thompson. :)